Rough Night

Rough night, little sleep. A nightmare, an accident, and a toddler’s inconsistent sleep schedule drove me from my bed. After rocking a little one back to sleep, I discovered another child had slipped into my vacant spot in bed.

I will confess, I love my children dearly but I really, really miss sleep. I have yet to develop the ability to sleep well with a child elbowing and kneeing me in the back.

Glancing at the clock, 5 am. I waved the white flag of defeat. A full uninterrupted night’s sleep seems like a dream that has so rarely occurred in the last eight years. That will happen, naturally having four children in a span of six years.

Giving up any futile attempts to sleep, I begrudgingly began to clean the house. I allowed my internal musings to begin “Why can’t I just get one full night of sleep? Is it too much to ask?” The pity party, martyr montage loop continually played in my head.

As I snuck back into my bedroom, I glanced over to survey the aftermath of my bed and the two intruders. My gaze lingered on their sweet faces, and a shift in my perspective occurred. A softening, a melting away of my anger and frustration.  I could only find a deep, protective love and a stirring of gratitude. In the very brief time they are entrusted to my care, I have the privilege of being their mother.

So today, I forgo sleep and rejoice that they still run to me when they are scared. My bed and my arms are the safe place they seek. There is no guarantee that I’ll feel this surge of thankfulness tomorrow when I’m sleep deprived again, but today the Lord whispered truth to me.

The more I pondered it, the more I was reminded that this is how God views us. With a love that is so deep, wide and long it overwhelms. Unlike my bed and arms which are limited in size, and my humanness which will fail to meet all my children’s needs, He is the true safe place.

This invitation is open to all of us. God longs to hold us close as we whisper our fears, dreams and mistakes to Him. Then he gives us his peace until we can sleep, for His comforting presence is limitless.

“I pray today that you being rooted and established in love, may have the power, together with the saints to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.” Eph 3:17-18

 He Neither Sleeps Nor Slumbers